"Memorial Day"

In Memory ....

Another Memorial Day is upon us.  (The 24th I've trudged up this hill -- my dad's 1989 grave is nearby.) 

Another reminder of those who have gone before us .... those who have made sacrifices that not only molded and shaped their own lives, but ours as well.

Each of the cemeteries I drive by or stop at with flowers of my own to place on graves of loved ones is a sea of flags, flowers, and families gathered.  It's a beautiful sight of honor, of respect, of love, and even of loss.  Loss itself, while painful, is a privilege for it means we had something to lose in the first place.

And sometimes the gift we were given is so monumental, that the hole of loss in their absence is staggering, excruciating, and encompasses much of the life we must press forward in, regardless of our fatigue or our strength.

Yet, loss will be a part of every life ... timely or untimely.  And each of those losses deserves our honor, our respect, and our love.  Lives are lost to war, to accident, to disease, to choice.  Lives are lost to life, ... for on this earth as all are born, all will die and return to our God who gave these lives as a precious opportunity, but finite experience.  And, all, regardless of how they lived or died are welcomed into the infinite portion of existence with the open arms of the One who will trade our corruption for his incorruption and our mortality for his immortality.

And while we still dwell here on a beautiful earth (although small in comparison to what awaits us), we are susceptible, even required (if we love) to the loneliness and grief we feel for a parent, a sibling, a child .... gone before we were 'ready to let go', before we could say goodbye, before and in spite of our capability to 'live without them.'  It is the great human experience to love and be loved.  Therefore, it is also the great human experience to grieve and mourn with those who mourn.

In honor ...

And, in gratitude for the privilege that is mine in my grief.  For I grieve over goodly, loving parents; a kindly, caring brother; and an angelic, inspiring daughter who claims to love me more than I love her.  I honor a rich heritage of family who impacted my story while they lived here and continue to from beyond their graves.  I "drink from wells I did not dig" in profound and constant supply.  I live free on the shoulders of those who did not.  I make choices at the hands of those who had no choice.  And, I worship God (while I still can) openly, as a result of those who could only worship Him silently in their hearts.

Each life is a part of our own.  And, each life is worth our remembering, honoring, and experiencing the profound, painful, privileged emotion of grief.

In love ...

In celebration of her birthday ....

May 3, 1994 -- Happily Ever After

'Lauren's ride' ...

Never a day goes by that I don't feel to cry, to laugh, to rejoice, to weep, to say "I love you, goodnight", to pray in gratitude and in grief, to simply smile -- all because I was given the privilege of being this girl's mom.

She lived her life to the fullest - - from her first mortal days through her last. There was never a dull moment or a time when there wasn't some reason she could find for us to laugh, to smile, or to just cherish the moment to be alive, to be together, or simply to be precisely where we were at that given time. We even found ourselves laughing as chemotherapy was humorously identified as "che-MOO-therapy" just to lessen OUR pain. It's who she was and who I am confident she remains to this day in a realm we don't see, but look forward to in joyful anticipation.

I love this picture - - taken from the screen when a home movie was playing and had momentarily been put on pause. It speaks volumes about her and how she viewed her life .... stained shirt, too big of a helmet, on a relatively difficult bike ride and the moment was glorious .... and she was truly happy.

Her siblings had everything to do with her humor, and her perspective that her life was worth fighting for. In fact, she credited them with why she believed that even though she had been diagnosed with a rare and deadly cancer, that she could still smile, still laugh, and still find reasons to be grateful. I'm privileged beyond words.

This sweet person left a legacy .... a legacy that happiness isn't in what you own or what you buy or what you accumulate - - it's in your family, your faith, and your friends, but mostly it is in a relationship with Deity. I don't understand why something so vial as Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma could find it's way into my precious and perfect daughter 4 hideous and excruciating times, but I know how fortunate I am that her precious earth time was ours as a family and that families are forever, which means our eternal relationship is unbreakable. For that, there are no sufficient words of adoration and gratitude for the One who makes that not only a possibility, but a reality.

Beauty for ashes, joy for mourning . . . . it will be as he said.

There are hosts of good causes to donate a little of your time and/or energy to .... and more needs than can even be enumerated. In honor of the 20th birthday of a young woman who died at 15 1/2, reach out to one of them - - - if everyone reaches out to ONE, think of how many will be aided in struggles too heavy to bear alone. If it isn't cancer research, it could be suicide prevention, hospital bills for accident victims, grief counseling centers, or being a best buddy. Living Lauren's Legacy foundation was established to do just that (as our daughter lived her life) .... support causes too important to pass by.  

And, we'll be supporting this one:

Lauren's cousin is busily preparing to raise money to support all types of cancer research at the Dana Farber Institute in Boston Massachusetts. This is where money is needed most - - - on ALL types of cancer (there are over 200 different breeds) for all ages, genders, social status, and financial need. May I encourage you to support "his ride" which he does with Lauren's name on his back, and her memory in his heart. 100% of donations reach research and 100% of us can be grateful it will. Cancer needs a cure. Reach out and make a difference. Here is a link to his fundraising page.

http://www2.pmc.org/profile/CM0354

There are many other ways to be a support or to champion the cause, whatever your heart feels to go a little deeper in offering a hand, but as you do so, please feel the gratitude of this particular family and our angel daughter whose life was meant to make a difference.