Love vs. Pain

A lake in France, 2004

Our angel Lauren LOVED LIFE. She found a way to cherish moments or encourage us to cherish them every step along the way . . . creating a life so full of moments like these, that our hearts are constantly filled with beautiful memories - that now help us to cope with the anguish that she is no longer with us.
In looking back this morning (it's been three months today), Lauren's passing seemed quite symbolic of the rest of her life ... in thought and action. She clung on to each last moment .... trying to make us laugh or at least encouraging more smiles than tears. But, that created for her, a more intense struggle between this life and the next - - her knowing, and wanting the new life, but also continuing to want all of us near her and fearing the pain of what it would do to all of us to be left behind. In fact, on a day of obvious intense physical pain for her, I asked Lauren the simple question: "What hurts the most?" expecting to be able to 'help' the particular pain. Her reply was astounding ... She burst into tears (which was very uncharacteristic for her) and without hesitation, replied: "That it hurts all of you so much!"
Each of the month of Lauren's last days on this earth were filled with intense physical pain and struggle. It wasn't an illness, treatment, or a demise that she merited through her actions ... but her attitude transcended her circumstances; her love transcended her condition ... and so, each of her last days will be marked and remembered more as days of intense love and gratitude. Even when physical inability prevented normal movement or communication, she still found a way to give a thoughtful Christmas gift, express gratitude, form the words "I love you" and blow a kiss or hold a hand.
So, while we can't forget the incredible pain we know she endured, we will remember with more significance the way she dealt with it. Through every moment of her sweet attitude towards life, she proved that love can be stronger than pain.