I love you, good night.

In honor of her life of love .....

Lauren's book: "Happily Ever After" which she created and I am completing with a subtitle of "The Power of Perspective" will be available by the first of February. If you would like to be notified when it is on-line, or to pre-order a copy, please e-mail or check back by January 15.
Thanks so much --

This little angel has been lighting up Christmas for as long as her presence in our life has been known. Even the year we were still anticipating her arrival was brighter and so blessed ... it's tender and tough to be without that same brightness.
Lauren loved to give gifts - she loved snow, lights, trees, the music, and the baby in the manger. Finding a list of 1000 things she loved about life, was grateful for, or made her happy - - I wasn't surprised to find out that many of them involved this time of year, as well as the life of that baby in the manger. Lauren just 'got it' . . .
On that same list of things was "having my missionary home for Christmas." Taylor did, in fact, return home in time for Christmas -- as did Sara last year and our season was tender and loving and happy, although not as we would have hoped for. This year, it is Lauren who is really home for Christmas and the tenderness goes beyond containable borders.
We hope for a Christmas like 1993 ... when the anticipation of time together will fill our hearts with "tidings of comfort and joy" unique to this season, the 'babe in the manger', and the precious gift of her life.
"May your days be Merry and Bright . . ."

We can't give her any less

It's been nine months since Lauren passed away. A full year since the fourth cancer onset. For most everyone else, life has understandably moved on. For us, it remains a huge part of every moment; and always will. Even though it remains excruciating, we feel that is a privilege. The sorrow is equivalent to the LOVE. And, love IS a privilege.
Lauren always possessed a sense of 'direction' ... a 'true inner compass', so to speak. There wasn't a question in her mind regarding 'what' to do ... and, she just did it. We want to be like her. We want to 'follow her lead' ... to live her legacy. That is our purpose.
While most others fear what to say or do in the face of our grief and sorrow, we look to Lauren. And, we feel she would be beckoning us to move forward in a positive direction. It's why we love this photo so much ... it's reflective that she knows the way.
So, while I personally can't see the size XS, a cucumber, cow, or Chap-stick without missing a heart beat and having to catch my breath, I'm also reminded by those and many other things, that she is a great leader and I would be wise to follow. And, I'm reminded to be grateful because the sorrow at her loss will ultimately be temporary; but the joy in her life and in her triumph is and will be forever.
We walk the halls of PCMC again. We frequent rooms of other patients now, however. We have been assigned to work with our Church in serving the needs of families there. Some ask how we can possibly be there again ... (I admit -- it IS a little tougher to breathe up there) ... and then they remember who Lauren is and what her life was all about. And, they understand that it isn't "us" - it's "Lauren." We go with HER courage and love with HER heart .... so because of her we 'know the right thing to do and simply have to do it' .... we can't give her any less.

Our gifted genius of reasons to celebrate was especially fond of the 4th of July. (There's a big shock! Which holiday wasn't she really fond of!?) It started early and continued through her life and she spread her love for it to all of us.

Not a year passed by without particular thought as to what the year's participation in the parade would be, and decking out not only the house, but ourselves in Red, White, and Blue.

We have some really fond memories of Evergreen Park and the parade that led to it each year. Collecting candy, tossing candy, floats, wagons and bikes decorated, and the bright sunny days with snowcones, crazy outfits, and lots of patriotism.

Lauren participated yearly -- regardless of what others were doing. When our thoughts turned to collecting candy instead of tossing it, Lauren kept tossing. Particularly endearing was the year she offered to 'march' in the parade with her "Gogo", and they walked together as pioneers. Who would have guessed the symbolism then!?

2006 did not dawn as bright and happy for us. We were just home from the hospital, and whirling from the weeks of desperate seeking for answers. Lauren's spirits, however, remained undeterred. We still found our way to our traditional parade spot at the end of the driveway with her decked out in red, white, and blue, despite her dehydration, the fresh diagnosis of tumor, and the next mornings outlook of major surgery and the beginnings of treatment. She just didn't miss a beat.The next two years of the 4th of July were cautiously hopeful celebrations for us, and for Lauren, just more great holidays spent being glad to be an American. She was never deterred by the conditions surrounding her. Being bald gave her the opportunity to wear a patriotic scarf and short hair made it look like red, white, and blue fireworks on her head. She simply used each condition as a different means to celebrate things she held dear.

2009

This year, spread all over the world and apart from each other, we weren't too keen on the holiday, we must admit. This years conditions kept most of us from our traditional spot on the parade route. (David and I were away on business, and Carlie & Sara attending to their missions in Nauvoo and Thailand. ) Taylor (between his work and the flights necessary for them) did manage enough hours in SLC to attend the parade in Lauren's honor, but the rest of us dealt with our haunting loneliness in other areas of the world. Yet, there will always be an undeniable spirit, created by Lauren, that reminds us to be grateful and to celebrate all that is ours. Because of her, we're grateful to be American, to have the modern technologies which allowed our battle for her life, and the rights and privileges to worship our Father who gives us all. She made our lonely holiday a significant and even beautiful day. Lauren still doesn't miss a beat. Happy 4th of July.

It's KSL telethon time!

Saturday and Sunday, June 5 & 6 are the dates of the KSL telethon for PCMC. Photos were gathered, and our family was interviewed about Lauren's story for them to do a video segment. Our best 'guess' as to when it can be viewed is Saturday night at 9:00pm and Sunday afternoon at 2:00pm. We haven't seen the video and have no idea what was kept, and what was edited. Also, around those same two times, David and I will be interviewed live .... so no guarantees whatsoever how that will turn out! Lauren's 'famous and award winning' COW painting is being given as a gift to all donors who contribute $100.00 or more. So, if you wish to collect her art, this is a great way to do it! We feel pretty happy about her contribution to 'making wishes come true' at PCMC.

Now, every day is Memorial Day

Memorial Day has always had great significance to our family. We have a very rich heritage, and taking the time to 'honor' it has always been a priority. I always get choked up when I see family's gathered around a loved ones grave, placing flowers, cleaning the marker, and reminiscing. It's stunning to see how much love goes on and people are remembered for the significance they play in the lives of those left here.
We've done our best to visit graves from many generations back in our family -- which has led us to many quiet graveyards in the west and even in England. Our 'record' is finding the grave of a 15th great-grandfather in a Church in England, and standing on the spot in a neighboring town where his great-grandson was burned at the stake for 'heresy' ... being "the last person in England so to die." We've had to trek through some pretty rural places, or just taken a quick few steps off of major freeways, but we've visited dozens of places to pay honor to those who have blessed our lives with great beauty through their sacrifices in our behalf.
We've been making the trek up the SL Cemetery hill for 20 years of Memorial Days, since the passing of my father in 1989. Up until last October when I trekked up the hill to place flowers there for my mother's birthday, I hadn't ever considered that it would ever mean something different than the love I have for my own parents. But, on that windy evening in October, I had the sense that the spot would mean something much different to me now -- as it will continue to be for us and our children. I'm very grateful that Lauren's 'final resting spot' is beside my parents, but a little stunned at joining the ranks of parents who have to bury their children instead of vice versa. Standing on that same spot and having buried a child and both of my parents is simply sobering. Now, 'honoring' on Memorial Day means a stretch of the heart in both directions ... not just to those who are generations of our parents ... but also to our own precious child.
All days are now Memorial Days for us. In Lauren's honor, every day is a reminder of our blessings and what is ours not only in this life, but in the eternities. Every day is lived in memory and the honor it is to be her family. Even the haunting loneliness we feel is a tribute to her and the place she has in our hearts. And, while we miss her terribly, we have to rejoice that she is safe and secure and happy in cherished relationships with those she loves and honored in her few Memorial Days and all of her regular days on earth.

Lauren's grave can be found in the SL Cemetery near the wall alongside 11th Avenue. The Mausoleum is a good 'landmark' as the marker can be found approximately 20 yards from Center street, near the only pine tree left in the area. She is, of course, beside one of her best friends -- creating love and laughter in heaven -- not 'resting' beside one another on a hill, but their markers are there next to each other.

It's finally here!

We attended the funeral for our fellow cancer warrior today -- we had helped the family secure a burial plot very near Lauren's grave. While we were there, Lauren's marker was covered up, but we had looked underneath to show the siblings of our sweet angel Angie that was where Lauren's marker was. The photos had still not arrived. I returned to the grave site to place some balloons, clean up and organize their flowers over the grave and found that our monument company had been in and placed the missing portrait of Lauren and her beautiful painting, along with the vases which hadn't been placed earlier. So, it's complete now, in time for Memorial Day.
And, on this day of celebrating Angie's six years of life (three of them fighting leukemia), just want to add our love for her and her beautiful family who have etched a permanent spot in our hearts. Each time we visit the cemetery, we'll now consider both of these angels now in heaven.

Yur Kahel, Estefany, Daniella, Angie

Inside a carved out Redwood tree. Summer 2008

As I look out the window today and see the snow falling down in big chunky flakes, I am reminded that Lauren wouldn't sit in the house and watch, she would be out trying to catch them on her tongue. For Lauren, even a spring snowstorm was a delight just waiting to happen. A pouring rainstorm had puddles to be splashed in, and sunny days typically had clouds that had a shape just waiting to be found. Finding joy in every day is an art ... and Lauren is a master at it. So, in her honor, I'll stop my distaste for snow at the end of May and go outside and catch a few on my tongue ... singing the song she would add to it - - "If all of the snowflakes were Hershey bars and milkshakes - oh what a world this would be! I'd stand outside with my mouth open wide going AH-AH, AH, AH! AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!!"
That is what makes the difference .... when we learn from the masters of living. And, 'living Lauren's legacy' will mean more love, more laughter, more living deeply, and - - more snowflakes on our tongues.
Living her legacy also means getting outside of ourselves and thinking of others. We've just been interviewed for the upcoming KSL telethon for Primary Children's Medical Center. It's tender and draining to talk about Lauren's illness and the suffering she went through, but the opportunity is a bit like the snowflakes -- it calls us to come out of ourselves and see the world through her eyes. So, we did what we thought she would want us to do and shared her story in an effort to help others. The telethon is June 5 and 6. Lauren's paintings (prints) will also be given as thank you's to the telethons biggest donors. (And, we'll still be offering them with proceeds going directly to benefit PCMC and other charities Lauren loved.)
Thank you to everyone who participated in the collection of books for PCMC. Over 200 are being delivered today. And, a huge thank you to those who collected food and money for our friends made through our mutual experience at PCMC. Your generosity is going a long way for their sweet little family.
Lauren still makes a difference ... many fluffy wet snowflakes at a time! Happy catching!!

Happy Mother's Day!

This is a little slide show we made so that Lauren could be more a part of our mother's day. Unfortunately youtube automatically disabled the audio for copyright reasons... It is supposed to be the song "To Where You Are" sung by Josh Groban.

Our CELEBRATION

Lauren loves to celebrate everything ... including birthdays. So, even recognizing her distaste for undue attention, we think she would have enjoyed the party. We know she had to smile at the 'wishes' made and delivered in her behalf. Our celebration included:

1000 Origami cranes
(folded by the Japanese Club of Skyline High School
in Lauren's honor and delivered to PCMC May 3, 2010)

Hundreds of Bubbles

$500.00 and counting for our sweet Oncology friends
300 craft kits for the volunteer department of PCMC
(150 - Thanks Carlie!)
(150 - Thanks Carlie, Jen & YW!)
200+ books for ICS (Oncology) at PCMC

150 Rubber Ducky's donated to Make-A-Wish
100+ cans of food for the Oncology family

Over a hundred people wearing blue, and
sporting a gold childhood cancer awareness ribbon.

Dozens of well-wishes from many friends.

45 people (not all pictured) who gathered
at our home for delicious cupcakes (Thanks Lisa)
and a balloon release (thanks, Claire and Karen)

32 balloons

There were only supposed to be 16, but
we needed to improvise ... the first send-off
of blue balloons with gold ribbons,
and covered with Lauren's friends wishes
was blown right into a towering pine tree. :-)
Lauren would have found this extremely funny. So did we.

So, 16 decorative balloons took their place
14 DELICIOUS Ribeye steaks (Lauren's favorite)
(Thanks Uncle Scott -- you should be a chef!)
and 14 big pieces of cake

A dozen attempts to get the marker on her grave
in time for her birthday
but the one (THANKS, Jen!)
that is a sweet substitute for now:
(The permanent one is waiting for dryer ground to be placed
but will be there soon.)

6 hearts with holes celebrating a beautiful life
(One is in Thailand and one is our sweet friend
Jessica Lesser behind the camera)
3 Carrie Bears
(check her out at www.carriebears.com)
(Made with love from one of Lauren's favorite blankets)
And the ONE nurse (a favorite friend of Laurens)
we caught scaling the wall
at the cemetery to visit Lauren's grave
when we arrived last night.
Touched us SO much.
We love you, Kelli!

Happy Birthday, Angel Lauren!!

Monday May 3, 2010

Happy Birthday, Lauren!!

Today would be Lauren's 16th birthday. It's a day we wish to celebrate her life and her influence of happiness in a world that so often lacks it.
Please check out the page of "Friends memories for Lauren's birthday" - - there are a lot of new, beautiful memories written by people Lauren adored. If you wish to add one, send it on to melodie@webbtours.com.
On Monday, May 3, please wear the color blue (Lauren's favorite) and a gold awareness ribbon for Childhood Cancer. If you feel so inclined, Lauren's friends are collecting money and food for another oncology family, and books for the ICS unit at PCMC, all in Lauren's honor and memory. They already knew what Lauren would have 'wished for' . . .
These same sweet friends are gathering at our home at 3:57 to celebrate the actual time of her birth with balloons, bubbles and cake. All are welcome to join us in celebrating her life, granting her wish, and increasing awareness of childhood cancer.

Close your eyes and make a wish

Lauren's two-year old birthday party May 3, 1996
She got the nickname "Bubbles" about two minutes later
after drinking some Bubbles, producing hundreds of them
as she hiccuped and burped and giggled for the next
several minutes. She dearly loved to make us laugh.

Everyone knows that birthday parties include blowing out candles to make a wish, and guests making a wish for you as they 'bump you on the head' with your gift. Everyone knows that a rub of a magic lamp may get you access to a Genie who will grant you three wishes, ("Ix-nay on wishing for more wishes!") or to make a wish when you see a falling star. In her younger years, Lauren developed a love for making wishes and taught us to make a wish at a well, on the first star, when an eyelash lay on our cheek, when the clasp on our necklace came around to the front, when we found a lucky penny or smooth stone, or when a number was 'duplicated', especially when the clock is 11-11. This was one of our favorites and through most of the last year of Lauren's life, seemed to notice that time of day nearly every day. It was a fun coincidence this morning to come to the computer and see the 'counter' on her blog for number of 'hits' (since we began counting a month into it) had risen to 1111. It made me smile like only Lauren can.
Our 'birthday' wish (and wish on the number 1111 this morning) is to make one of Lauren's many wishes come true. When given the opportunity to be granted a wish through Make-A-Wish, Lauren simply and sincerely wished to "give her wish away" to someone who needed it more. Subsequent requests brought the same response until she figured out what SHE could do to make the WISHES of OTHERS come true. So, as we try to "Live Lauren's Legacy", we feel to do the same.
Lauren's wish is the purpose for this blog. Her wish is directing the things we have determined to do and will do with her story. In honor of her birthday this year, we are encouraging wearing 'blue' on Monday, May 3, along with a gold ribbon for Childhood Cancer, and that each person whose life has been touched by Lauren, will consider ways to make the wishes of others come true.
Under the heading "Making a difference" on this blog, are links to Lauren's favorite charities where you could donate direct. As stated in the last post, funds, books, and food are being gathered in Lauren's honor to be donated to those in need. We would be honored to have you participate as you feel able. T-shirts, paintings, and window decals are still not viewable on the blog (will be soon), but are available if you would like to contact us. And, I'm still working on her beautiful wish ... and pulling together her story through her book "Happily Ever After."

Central to Lauren's 'wishes' have been one particular young girl whom we have all grown to adore. Her family will be the main focus of all of these particular efforts with funds and food. The books will go to PCMC, and libraries Lauren frequented. PCMC and Make-A-Wish will be the other recipients of donations collected and delivered in honor of Lauren's birthday.
And, for wishes to really come true, you have to LOVE and LAUGH every day. After all, that's what a "Happily Ever After" is . . .

Waiting for Lauren's birthday

It was tough to wait for Lauren to arrive ...

She was 9 days overdue by the time we snapped this photo as we left for the hospital to be induced. We were all so anxious. Besides me being entirely worn out, we all just had a feeling we were pretty lucky with who was coming. Of course, we were right, but we had no idea just how lucky we really were.
This year, there isn't the same enthusiastic anticipation there was 16 years ago ... or even any of those fun years in between as we planned birthday parties . . . but there IS an anxiousness. An anxiousness to pay a fitting tribute to our angel daughter and sister.
I'm pouring out my soul trying to put together inspired thoughts to add to her book and looking for publishers. I call it a daunting privilege. And, I'm finding that words are failing me ... or at least fleeing faster than I am able to trail behind. The book certainly won't be ready for her birthday, but the effort is still there, and it won't be long afterward. Perhaps by mine or Memorial Day.
Several other tributes are in the works for her birthday ... the headstone will be placed on her grave that day, and friends are making plans to gather to release balloons here at our home. One friend, Claire Guthrie, is working hard to honor Lauren by making her birthday a "Childhood Cancer Awareness Day" in our neighborhood, and at Skyline High School, collecting food, books, and donations to aid other families at PCMC. All of her friends are working to spread the word and write memories of Lauren to be included on the blog. Everyone who participates will be wearing gold ribbons, and dressing in blue (her favorite color) on May 3.
Previous tributes to Lauren will be delivered to PCMC on or around that day including the Thousand Cranes folded by the Japanese Club at Skyline High School, donations of Lauren's paintings, and craft kits for ICS patients, spear-headed by Lauren's sister Carlie.
Since Lauren's passing, Janice Waldman, a dear friend from long ago in Fort Collins, has been making arrangements to donate books to surrounding libraries, and the three school libraries where Lauren attended school.
We are still working to make available Lauren's paintings, her t-shirts, and vinyl tributes are being created for car windows. Everything is being designed as a means of "Living Lauren's Legacy", and all proceeds will go towards PCMC and other oncology families. The first project we are targeting is a young beautiful family who needs our help in the passing of their six year old daughter from Leukemia.
If you would like to participate in any of this by way of time, skills, talents, or donations, please contact melodie@webbtours.com or send donations to:

"Living Lauren's Legacy"
P.O. Box 9043
Salt Lake City, Utah
84109

And, spread the word to wear blue, and a gold ribbon on Monday, May 3, 2010. Above all - - - live her legacy and LOVE and LAUGH every day.
Happy Birthday, Lauren!

Easter Letter to Lauren's friends

Easter 2008
I guess it's no surprise that Lauren LOVED Easter too ...
She loved all holidays and all reasons to celebrate, after all.
But, ... Easter was different -
and holds very special significance to our family.
Please allow us to share --

Easter has always meant more to us than chocolate, baskets, rabbits, and colored eggs. Although it's true that we got new Easter outfits, ate too much chocolate every year, and hunted for eggs; we held quite close, one very special, not well-known tradition in our family. Plastic eggs hidden around our yard or home by a mysterious 'bunny' were filled with money, candy, toys, trinkets, notes and other surprises. Each egg was fun to find and receive, but there was one egg that was wanted and cherished above all the other prizes ... one egg that was the 'jackpot' of all Easter eggs ... one egg that was worth more than anything in all the other eggs. This personal egg was always our favorite color, and had our name on the outside ... with a reminder of just whom the giver is ... "From Jesus Christ."
Always, ... inside the egg is our most cherished of all Easter gifts ... EMPTY.

"He is not here, for he is risen, as he said." (Matthew 28:6)

The very best Easter gift ever is indeed, the one that was empty ... the tomb of our Savior, Jesus Christ. An empty tomb meant he had claimed victory over sin and victory over death. He had borne our grief and suffered our pain. An empty tomb meant the Atonement was complete - finished - and both universally and personally given. While it is a universal gift to all the world, it was a very personal gift to Lauren and it is a very personal gift to each of us.
With more profound gratitude than ever before, we celebrate the gift that is Easter.
We think Lauren would want you to know that she knew (and we know) of this grand reality. She would want you to know that her spirit lives on ... free of fear, free of cancer, free of pain. She lives continually surrounded by friends and people who love her. Lauren, in this lifetime, knew the Giver of the gift ... and she knew him as her 'best, heavenly friend.' His empty tomb was something she cherished with all of her heart ... even before the numerous death sentences she was called upon to face. She knew before her spirit was received back home, and she, perfectly prepared, embraced her Best, Heavenly Friend. We know she tearfully thanked him on her knees at his feet. Their friendship is eternal . . .
In honor of the Gift given through nail-pierced hands, and in memory of how much Lauren loves you, we have placed an empty plastic egg with your name on it on her grave on this day, Good Friday, 2010.
Happy Easter!

Love vs. Pain

A lake in France, 2004

Our angel Lauren LOVED LIFE. She found a way to cherish moments or encourage us to cherish them every step along the way . . . creating a life so full of moments like these, that our hearts are constantly filled with beautiful memories - that now help us to cope with the anguish that she is no longer with us.
In looking back this morning (it's been three months today), Lauren's passing seemed quite symbolic of the rest of her life ... in thought and action. She clung on to each last moment .... trying to make us laugh or at least encouraging more smiles than tears. But, that created for her, a more intense struggle between this life and the next - - her knowing, and wanting the new life, but also continuing to want all of us near her and fearing the pain of what it would do to all of us to be left behind. In fact, on a day of obvious intense physical pain for her, I asked Lauren the simple question: "What hurts the most?" expecting to be able to 'help' the particular pain. Her reply was astounding ... She burst into tears (which was very uncharacteristic for her) and without hesitation, replied: "That it hurts all of you so much!"
Each of the month of Lauren's last days on this earth were filled with intense physical pain and struggle. It wasn't an illness, treatment, or a demise that she merited through her actions ... but her attitude transcended her circumstances; her love transcended her condition ... and so, each of her last days will be marked and remembered more as days of intense love and gratitude. Even when physical inability prevented normal movement or communication, she still found a way to give a thoughtful Christmas gift, express gratitude, form the words "I love you" and blow a kiss or hold a hand.
So, while we can't forget the incredible pain we know she endured, we will remember with more significance the way she dealt with it. Through every moment of her sweet attitude towards life, she proved that love can be stronger than pain.

Sisters!

HAPPY GOLDEN BIRTHDAY
CARLIE!!
(18 on the 18th!)
You are the dearest, sweetest,
most genuine angel sister and daughter.
WE LOVE YOU!!

Feeling really LUCKY
she is ours . . . .

There has been lots of Love and Laughter around here -- and we feel mighty fortunate. We feel the "Luck O' The Irish" even though the closest "Irish" we have in us is a 10th great-grandfather to our children on David's mothers side. :-) Somehow, it's still in our blood.
St. Patrick's Day for our family, has a tradition of being a 'day to count your blessings' ... to recognize how fortunate we are. Lauren was always extra good at that ... counting blessings instead of troubles ... and she would have done so today likely with green hair, and green fingernails, and a shamrock painted on her face. She was just into holidays and really knew how to celebrate! We're still trying to be like her . . . and counting blessings instead of troubles. One of her favorite plaques in our house said:

There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for!

So, while the nagging loneliness continues, we'll honor her by celebrating our good fortune and continue in the tradition of counting blessings -- instead of troubles. She'll be at the top, the bottom, and several places in between. May you have the good fortune of a St. Patrick's Day counting your blessings too.

A bitter-sweet anniversary

Our beautiful missionary daughter
March 11, 2009

Sara received her mission call on Wednesday, March 11 of 2009. What a sweet and willing attitude she had in receiving this call. Everyone in our little family gathered and the mission call was opened. To our surprise and delight, Sara was called to the Thailand, Bangkok mission. Not a place we had even thought of ... and cousin Kami became the 'closest' with a guess of the Philippines. :-) Sara accepted the call and is very much loving and enjoying her time as a missionary to the people of Thailand. Despite the monkeys (which love to attack), the cockroaches, bugs for snacks, and the heat ... she believes she is in Paradise. Her service blesses our lives every day.
While awaiting Taylor and Sara's return from Provo that day to open the call, our distraught hearts were again searching for answers in the best treatments available for Lauren. We had been hoping otherwise (and even being led to believe otherwise), but knew we were in a 3rd battle for our angel daughters life. After 2 weeks of rushing around with testing, scans, MRI's, and x-rays, we again were devastatingly confirmed --- facing another battle for her life. We had secured treatment in Denver, Colorado and were awaiting being measured for radiation (again!) We had high hopes, but were very frightened as Lauren grew more and more ill. I held her head in my lap as she slept and David continued to press forward in new treatments. While we did so, the phone rang.
On the other end of the line was our (brilliant and amazing) doctor at PCMC -- after consulting many medical professionals and doing his own evaluation of the emergency scans and MRI the night before, and lacking any 'treatments' for this 3rd onset; his advice was to "Give her morphine and let her go." He was confident she would be gone within weeks, if not days.
We didn't inform our children. It just didn't seem fair or appropriate . . . especially with that big white envelope from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Mission Department sitting on the table.
That's the ultimate exercise for a heart -- receiving two calls like that in one day. (Thinking about it today has made me feel like I've run a marathon.)
Gratefully, David didn't take "no" for an answer, and neither did Sara. Sara accepted, and we searched and found a remarkable treatment that extended Lauren's life for another 7 months. And, not only did it extend her life, but that treatment helped her to be the ONLY person ever to achieve a 3rd remission from that cancer. Lauren's heroic fight and survival not only earned her the honor, but made it possible for any children who present with her cancer to be given this 3rd regimen first. This will likely save many children from ever having to face the cancer a second time like her, and will also save them their hair, their immune system, and their ability to actually eat and not have to throw up all the time. And, many other cancers that aren't responding to their chemotherapy treatments are getting a chance to try this regimen in hopes of seeing some success. She showed a different way to fight and win. We are grateful to the doctors who always believed in her as well as the man at Sloan-Kettering in NYC who designed that treatment.
While number 4's onset was so unwanted and brought the final 'death sentence' ... we feel the number 3 is something to celebrate ... as will all of the other kids who suffer less because of Lauren and her willingness to consider life worth fighting for. This bitter-sweet anniversary marks a most bleak and yet quite beautiful day. God's hand has been over us all ... and now our prayers are for both of our missionary daughters.

Lauren with her beloved "Gogo" (Grandmother)
after her 4th grade grandparent program.
We think there is great similarity to now ...
only Gogo's hair is not white any more and
they are both probably a little taller. :-)

KSL Interview.

Some people have expressed a desire to hear the interview that KSL ran on their radio-a-thon to raise money for Primary Children's. Click here to hear it.

Lauren Webb ... May 3, 1994 - December 29, 2010

If there ever comes a day
when we can't be together
Just keep me in your HEART
and I'll stay there forever!
(Winnie the Pooh)